And Now the End is Near...

I am minutes away from submitting my final module for my textiles degree.  I have been proof reading all day and correcting my appalling spelling etc.. and its ready to go!!!

The relief to have finished is palpable, yet - I can't quite let it go!! It feels so final and what am I going to lie awake at night thinking about? What will I do to fill my lockdown days - Its a very bizarre feeling - I've never been a very good completer - I'm definitely a starter, explorer, doer but not a finisher, it feels so complete and final and I don't care for for finality - its unchangeable,  unalterable and fixed!!! not that I do change very well either, I just like a constant flow, a bit of spontaneity... but this chapter of my life is as good as over - and what a blast its been- these last two years have been such a learning curve and soooooo much fun.  So I have very mixed feelings - a sense of achievement, relief I've completed , and sadness that it is all over.  I will miss college and the stimulus and people and atmosphere of creativity - and I'm so sorry not to have got to say a proper goodbye to all those people I've shared the last 2 years with.


Covid 19 has scuppered any chance of a degree show, our graduation has been postponed, new designers is a virtual affair but I feel the biggest disappointment is that we as a student body don't get to share our final designs as a group... I love seeing the studio on hand in day - theres a buzz as everyone panics in different degrees and the work in the individual bays starts to come together until we have a mini show.  Its riot of talent, hard work, colour and texture and its what going to college everyday means for me - and we have been cheated of even that little display of dedication. 

However in the scheme of things it is only a minor disappointment - to my best knowledge my peers are well and mostly their families are safe  - these unprecedented times will pass, in spite of the doom and gloom which feels a bit all prevailing at the moment a 'new normal' will emerge and this may herald further exciting times - who knows what lies ahead - no one could have possibly foreseen how these last few months would pan out.

In reality I'm looking forward to some down time, spending it in the green house inhaling lovely compost and dampness, pond dipping and chatting with Jarvis the frog and watching the taddys change almost daily.  It will probably start to rain every day but I'll sit in the shelter of my fabulous copper beech tree and drink tea and gin... and possibly continue to de anaglypta the interior of our house...  we are hoping (but its unlikely) to travel to South America at the end of this year for a wee jaunt and a bit of eclipse chasing so there is some planning (or not) to there.

And then....I need to get my self into gear - sort out printing scarf options, and get my designs on line and for sale.....  I'm fairly organised - I have the product, the support packaging and a modicum of ambition but I still need and sensibly priced printing option or I have no profit margin at all - I'm already only paying myself minimum wage and nothing per hour for administrative (and hemming) time which is not really sensible but necessary as a new entrepreneur!!

Another little adventure to start planning while I drink tea and eat cake all summer!!!