I don't often post much negative on this blog but it is a kind of life diary, and life doesn't always go according to plan. I purposely don't name people so I'm not open to libel cases, I don't want to end up in court because I've falsely accused someone of laughing too much, being too generous, creative or simply tossing stones into my somewhat hectic life... but every now again life isn't so pleasant and something ripples through reminding us of just how unstable the outside world can be, so here, sadly, and hopefully rare, is a cautionary tale....
I have just a had a lovely jaunt to my home town Leeds and as usual caught up with lots of people -to be honest in a minor passing kind of way it was a little bit of a life affirming process. First of all it reminded me as to why we had moved to this part of the world, nipping down to Leeds was so easy, not much more then a planned major supermarket expedition used to be, even in the evening rush hour traffic. And most of all it reminded me of really nice welcoming fun people....
It was sooo simple to drive into the madness that Headingley presents after the tranquil rural vistas of our valley, park up and just melt into to hotpot of Friday nightlife in the city where you become invisible.. I visited my oldest friend and next best thing I have to my family - she was to be 93 at the weekend - so I think she really does qualify as my oldest friend - she looked well and hearty as always an institution,a local landmark especially in my life!
I had pizza with my daughter and most of her family - my eldest being in Brownie camp, a gentle passing reminder of the lovely supportive family I have who make me laugh (even though between them they sport several nasty tattoos - (the little one has more sense) .... I met up with the local crew and drank wine and laughed a lot - The following morning I went to the farmers market and saw loads of people I haven't seen for ages and swapped adventures. I finally made good broken promises to keep in touch with busy friends and spent time with some pals I hadn't seen in far too long (even more nasty tattoos) and it was great to catch up and hear everyones news, and all of this just served to give me a much needed invisible - and in deed physical hugs and install some seriously good vibes into my inner being...
Of course what I haven't previously catalogued here in any detail is there is some trouble in paradise - it seems sometimes rural life can live up to stereotyped expectations and incomers like us are not made welcome - in fact in our case its proving difficult to 'bond' with some of the natives and this has cast a shadow on our recent house move. There have been some harsh words flung about, unsolicited, ungrounded and to be honest unjust and unsubstantial opinions and sadly some unpleasant character assassination attempts - its small fry compared what what someone like Mr Trump probably puts up with but it is non the less not welcoming and in such a small community it becomes noticable. (eventually)
I've no intention of boring anyone with mundane detail about alleged offences and possible outcomes but would just like to make a couple of heartfelt comments and as this is my space it really helps to get it of my chest so to speak... (or write)
The most difficult aspect of being the target of such covert bullying is exactly that - its so covert, not only does it seem petty but the people involved were unable for what ever reason to come and speak directly to us (we are thoughtless and unapproachable)- instead, taking an easier and much more passive aggressive approach and informing our landlord of our totally unacceptable and impossible shortcomings which they expected him to deal with accordingly. Which I have to say he is currently in the process of doing - whether it will meet everyones needs and satisfy those braying for blood will remain an outcome to be seen, to date I am happy with our conversations and the issues are being addressed.
Anyway its been a sharp reminder of how many unhappy people live in the world, and how sometimes they are sadly evident literally right on the doorstep, I've been lucky in my life to being mostly be surrounded by supportive, interesting, fun people - I like to think that because sometimes I can contribute to being supportive , interesting and fun and I needed a big fix of that to refill my humanity tank 'cos quite frankly its been tested these last few days!!
I am also aware that in the grand scheme of life, a neighbor dispute - while unpleasant and potentially in this case unwarranted - is minor compared with what some people live with from day to day and I am fortunate to have so many kind and loving people who will love me unconditionally even if I (unintentionally) ignore them for months at a time. I have friends and acquaintances living with such deep sadness in their lives that I refuse to be undermined by a few petty unwelcoming individuals who enjoy the status of being verge police and have time to compile our visitor data stats. So I'm sat in my overlarge bed, typing this, watching the pheasants pop up like jewels out of the crop across the field, watching the clouds scud across the sky hoping for more sunshine to relax in and I will positively embrace life and what it might bring next. (possibly large parties, maybe a hot tub in the garden, a harley davidson midlife crisis motorbike ok I'm kidding and being naughty) - but its unlikely to be an imminent house move!!! (famous last words haha)
I have just a had a lovely jaunt to my home town Leeds and as usual caught up with lots of people -to be honest in a minor passing kind of way it was a little bit of a life affirming process. First of all it reminded me as to why we had moved to this part of the world, nipping down to Leeds was so easy, not much more then a planned major supermarket expedition used to be, even in the evening rush hour traffic. And most of all it reminded me of really nice welcoming fun people....
It was sooo simple to drive into the madness that Headingley presents after the tranquil rural vistas of our valley, park up and just melt into to hotpot of Friday nightlife in the city where you become invisible.. I visited my oldest friend and next best thing I have to my family - she was to be 93 at the weekend - so I think she really does qualify as my oldest friend - she looked well and hearty as always an institution,a local landmark especially in my life!
I had pizza with my daughter and most of her family - my eldest being in Brownie camp, a gentle passing reminder of the lovely supportive family I have who make me laugh (even though between them they sport several nasty tattoos - (the little one has more sense) .... I met up with the local crew and drank wine and laughed a lot - The following morning I went to the farmers market and saw loads of people I haven't seen for ages and swapped adventures. I finally made good broken promises to keep in touch with busy friends and spent time with some pals I hadn't seen in far too long (even more nasty tattoos) and it was great to catch up and hear everyones news, and all of this just served to give me a much needed invisible - and in deed physical hugs and install some seriously good vibes into my inner being...
Of course what I haven't previously catalogued here in any detail is there is some trouble in paradise - it seems sometimes rural life can live up to stereotyped expectations and incomers like us are not made welcome - in fact in our case its proving difficult to 'bond' with some of the natives and this has cast a shadow on our recent house move. There have been some harsh words flung about, unsolicited, ungrounded and to be honest unjust and unsubstantial opinions and sadly some unpleasant character assassination attempts - its small fry compared what what someone like Mr Trump probably puts up with but it is non the less not welcoming and in such a small community it becomes noticable. (eventually)
I've no intention of boring anyone with mundane detail about alleged offences and possible outcomes but would just like to make a couple of heartfelt comments and as this is my space it really helps to get it of my chest so to speak... (or write)
The most difficult aspect of being the target of such covert bullying is exactly that - its so covert, not only does it seem petty but the people involved were unable for what ever reason to come and speak directly to us (we are thoughtless and unapproachable)- instead, taking an easier and much more passive aggressive approach and informing our landlord of our totally unacceptable and impossible shortcomings which they expected him to deal with accordingly. Which I have to say he is currently in the process of doing - whether it will meet everyones needs and satisfy those braying for blood will remain an outcome to be seen, to date I am happy with our conversations and the issues are being addressed.
Anyway its been a sharp reminder of how many unhappy people live in the world, and how sometimes they are sadly evident literally right on the doorstep, I've been lucky in my life to being mostly be surrounded by supportive, interesting, fun people - I like to think that because sometimes I can contribute to being supportive , interesting and fun and I needed a big fix of that to refill my humanity tank 'cos quite frankly its been tested these last few days!!
I am also aware that in the grand scheme of life, a neighbor dispute - while unpleasant and potentially in this case unwarranted - is minor compared with what some people live with from day to day and I am fortunate to have so many kind and loving people who will love me unconditionally even if I (unintentionally) ignore them for months at a time. I have friends and acquaintances living with such deep sadness in their lives that I refuse to be undermined by a few petty unwelcoming individuals who enjoy the status of being verge police and have time to compile our visitor data stats. So I'm sat in my overlarge bed, typing this, watching the pheasants pop up like jewels out of the crop across the field, watching the clouds scud across the sky hoping for more sunshine to relax in and I will positively embrace life and what it might bring next. (possibly large parties, maybe a hot tub in the garden, a harley davidson midlife crisis motorbike ok I'm kidding and being naughty) - but its unlikely to be an imminent house move!!! (famous last words haha)
Ruby, we miss you so why don't you and Dr F come home. Our lives were made all the richer by meeting such beautiful "characters" as you two turned out to be. Northumberland rocks. M x
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